Hi Joe. No, I think that others have been doing the defining and creating expectations before we got here. The whole idea of retirement is pretty novel, and the kinds of entitlement/consumer - think have often created havoc. Not too long ago, people worked until they couldn't, then they had their kids take care of them.
Life is fragile. Investing is fragile. We were hit with a recession, but we weren't all that far from another major depression (people seem to ignore that reality and choose to stay with a "woe is me" mentality). And the vast majority of our generation really was limited in what they could afford to save anyway. Thus, they never had anything to lose in the first place. Retirement for them was/is never an option, really.
I choose to define my retirement without dependence and expectation that I "deserve" to have the frills of the glitzy retirement image (country club membership, expensive restaurants, world travel, fancy senior citizen communities). Yes, we lost money, but much of it was inflated bookkeeping, anyway (which we bought into because it fed into the illusion of wealth).
Our true wealth lies in the strength of our spirits, the health of our daily activities, and the vitality of keeping our lives optimally challenging, unless the kind of car you drive is critical to you self-definition.